


Four hours late, without Starbucks.

by Eshnoazot



Series: Avengers prompt ficathon [13]
Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Clint Barton is late, Clint Barton-centric, Daemons, Magic, This is the aftermath, no real plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 04:53:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2096460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eshnoazot/pseuds/Eshnoazot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What spell, How bad is it and WHY THE HELL IS THERE A MEERKAT IN MY BED?”</p><p>“Thor insists that they’re called daemons,” Natasha announces, as her scarf started to move, “Apparently they are a manifestation, and representation of our souls. The fallout zone is restricted to Stark Tower. This is not the worst situation we’ve ever been in.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four hours late, without Starbucks.

**Author's Note:**

> This is such an old fic folks. So many olds.

In the end, it turns out that some budget _Dungeon Master_ is to blame.

But that isn't really important.

Clint Barton wakes up late, groans and turns in his bed; snuggling deeper into the orthopaedic mattress with a contented noise of utter peace that only the feeling of NASA quality memory foam could bring.

 Much like the rest of his life, things only go well for him for ten seconds.

 “Clint, you’re okay. Don’t freak out,” The red haired assassin sitting in his armchair announces, when his eyes fly open and he lets out a shriek of utter terror at the feeling of _fur_ brushing against his _inner thigh_ ,  “There’s been a new development. We have everything under control. You’re safe.”

Somehow Natasha’s tone of voice manages to convey both the impression of trustworthiness and concern, and a note that he automatically associates with utter terror because Natasha _never uses that voice_ except to reassure him in the most _terrifying situations_.

He jerked away in a movement more flail than grace; perching himself on the bedside table as Natasha sighed and carefully lifted up the blanket.

“…Is that a _meerkat_?” The incredulous tone in his voice drew a wholly unimpressed look from Natasha, “ _Why is there a meerkat in my bed_?”

“Stark antagonized one of his interns,” Natasha’s eyed darkened, “An intern that boasts diluted Asgardian blood dating back to 965 AD. Norwegian Genealogists however, have been enjoying a SHIELD employment boom.”

Clint snorted, then paused in dawning horror as the implications hit him.

“SHIELD already has the suspect in custody; the spell will wear off over the next 24 hours,” Natasha continues as he stared morosely at the meerkat who snorted and shifted over into the warm indent in the foam, “Stark will also reconsider his hiring criteria.”

“What spell, How bad is it and _WHY THE HELL IS THERE A MEERKAT IN MY BED_?”

“Thor insists that they’re called daemons,” Natasha announces, as her scarf started to move, “Apparently they are a manifestation, and representation of our souls. The fallout zone is restricted to Stark Tower. _This is not the worst situation we’ve ever been in_.”

He leveled her a sideways stare.

“The whole team is affected,” She helpfully added as the creature dropped over her neck lazily blinked and yawned, “He’s an Ermine, Clint.”

He blinked at the long slender creature with a shockingly white coat and squinted at the beautiful and innocent face, before shivering at the shockingly sharp claws.

“I expected something more fearsome,” He joked instead, with all the wisdom of a man with a survival instinct, “Like a tiger, or a lioness.”

Natasha smiled back as the ermine shifted and curled back up, “I expected a Hawk.”

 

—

The meerkat trailed after him as he and Nat headed towards the communal kitchen. Even from the hallway the thick smell of maple syrup, bacon and eggs was potent enough that the meerkat sniffed and visibly brightened. On the other hand, while the smell promised delicious, delicious breakfast foods, his sagely wisdom reminded him that with _great foods_ , came _great emotional baggage_ from the super soldier who never complained.

When they enter the kitchen, the hairs on the back of his neck prickled well before he noticed that the room was filled with Avengers and sidekicks alike. While sometimes there were informal Avengers meetings that needed no announcement, it was rare that even non-Avengers joined their merry band of emotional eaters and even more emotional chefs.

 “Are you _KIDDING ME_?”

“Suck it Tweety Bird,” Darcy Lewis responds, perched atop a _freaking HORSE_ , looking a little too delighted with a grin a little too on the side of Tony-Stark branded maniac glee, “His name is Charlie, and let’s get this show on the road; mama wants to get herself a pony-ride.”

Clint squinted his eyes.

“He’s an Appaloosa,” Darcy announces to a question she was never asked; hands busy twisting horse-hair into little braids with more ribbon than one person should ever need, “We’re totally best friends.”

Clint squinted his eyes harder.

“I’m sorry,” He sighed, “I have too many pony jokes that I literally cannot decide which one to use. Take your pick from _‘So I see Daddy Stark finally got you a pony’_ , _‘We`re going to Candy Mountain, Charlie.’_ To _‘Calm down, Old Spice.’_ ”

“It’s okay, I understand _Biceps_ ,” Darcy smiled back with more reassurance than a 20 year old dressed in Thor Pajamas should be able to express.

“…Well, I don’t,” Steve looked between them in bewilderment, “Let me get my notebook-“

“NO!” Tony jerked up with bleary eyes, from his soup-mug filled with coffee, with a twitch “Do not get your notebook, do not listen to these _heathen children_ ; that is a dark road Cap, and I cannot allow you down that path in good faith. And in case you haven’t noticed, we’re doing Avenger-y stuff. Let’s Avenge.”

“Me think the Ironman doth protest too much,” Clint grinned wider, “What’d you get to twist your knickers into such a bunch? A dungbeetle? Blobfish? I would have expected that Tony would have a Donkey- Given that they’re supposed to represent who we are, and given that Tony is a huge As-“

A sharp hiss interrupted his words, and a set of sharp white teeth surrounded by orange fur appeared beside Stark’s knee.

“Harsh words from a _rodent_ ,” Tony pointedly stared back, “Besides, I’ve always known deep down inside me, that my soul was fundamentally foxy.”

“Actually I think a fox does describe you best- foxes are still pests,” Clint grinned while his meerkat let out a sharp noise that momentarily distracted the man in question, “Iron-fox and Iron-Ass; I can imagine your future now.”

“Don’t you think I won’t call Animal Control on you,” Tony vaguely threatened while Steve offered Natasha’s ermine a strip of bacon, “This isn’t meerkat manor; you better toilet train that thing.”

Bruce snorted and offered a piece of fruit to the strange creature sitting on the ground beside him, with a kind smile. Clint slowly eyed the wide eyed quiet creature between them with a questioning gaze.

“She’s a Slow Loris,” Bruce replied, returning to his own meal, and seemingly not even noticing that the creature relaxed into his legs like a lifeline. Natasha eyed him knowingly as he quietly looked around for his own meerkat, relaxing when he spotted the creature draped over one of his slippers.

“Thor informed us that the desire for physical contact is to be expected,” Natasha intoned near his ear, “Coulson was here earlier, with his daemon. He’s at his office making a spreadsheet.”

“Please tell me Coulson is a Labrador, or a Hare, or something,” Clint brightened, “I need this Natasha. We all need this.”

“ _WE_ were all awake earlier,” She announced, as Clint’s face fell into a sulk, “… _Honey Badger_. I texted you a picture while you were sleeping.”

“ _Honey badger don’t care_ ,” Clint whispered; his eyes widened as his grin threatened to consume his face, “Do you know what this means?”

“Reprimand Warnings?”

“It means that the gods of old are smiling down upon me,” Clint let out a wistful smile, “Wait, where is Thor?”

“He and his daemons are having a reunion. Plural,” Bruce’s lips curled into a smile, “Twin Rams named _Tanngrisnir_ and _Tanngnjóstr_. They’re all down in the Gym now, engaged in combat. I’ve never seen Thor look so delighted.”

“Huh.” Clint deliberated, watching Steve carefully lift a pancake from the pan and dump them onto a wide platter. They lasted less than a second before Tony snagged a couple, and even less before Clint snagged a few from Tony’s plate, “Foster?

“Sciencing with a chimpanzee!” Darcy called from atop that damned horse, “I think she prefers a magical soul-monkey over me, which is only a lot insulting, but he’s basically her so I don’t care. I have a _horse_.”

“Fury?”

“ _Far far away_ from the Tower,” Tony chimed in, eying the pancakes on Clint’s plate like he couldn’t decide if his health was worth the effort of recovery, “ _So very_ far far away.”

“Aww,” Clint deadpanned as he pulled his plate just out of arm’s length as Stark’s hand shot forwards, “Shame.”

“Leave no man behind,” Tony vowed solemnly, clutching the maple syrup to his chest, “I have a hostage!”

“ _We all knew the day would come_ when Iron Man went Villain,” Clint announced lowly as the meerkat climbed up into his lab, “We have protocols for this exact situation.”

Tony paused, “Wait, _seriously_?”

“There’s a PowerPoint presentation,” Natasha adds, because _Natasha is awesome_ , “Coulson decided that the checklist was too much of a threat to the secrecy of the details of the protocol.”

The fox to Tony’s left quirked its head to the side, as if incredibly unsure and insecure.

Natasha’s ermine smiled back toothily.

“Children don’t fight,” Steve chided, slipping strips of bacon onto Tony’s plate while covertly slipping the liberated syrup to Clint. Just as quickly as Steve stole the attention, a long slender neck stole a beakful of bacon from Tony’s plate, and ducked back under the breakfast bar. Clint slowly ducked his head under the bench top, eyeing the swan who had somehow managed to acquire a pile of eggs and pancakes, beside a fox happily chewing on bacon. With a squeak the meerkat was off, snagging a piece of bacon with wide-eyed excitement.

Clint frowned, slowly raising his hand, “I have a question. Why aren’t we freaking about the whole petting zoo thing?”

Tony, in the end, is the one who smiles like a shark and leans forward with enjoyment clear in his eyes, “You woke up four hours late, and didn’t even bring Starbucks, Princess Zelda. We've moved on. Now hurry up and eat your pancakes. Pepper’s coming home today, and she’ll never forgive me if she comes home to a horse in my penthouse again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Daemon Listing-
> 
> Clint Barton - Meerkat  
> Tony Stark - Red Fox  
> Bruce Banner- Slow Loris  
> Natasha Romanov - Ermine  
> Thor - Rams  
> Steve Rogers - Swan
> 
> Darcy Lewis - Horse (Appaloosa)  
> Jane Foster - Chimpanzee  
> Phillip Coulson - Honey Badger


End file.
